Lullaby
by jadedcrystalide
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki had a hard time calming down from panic attacks and nightmares. Well, he did until he met and fell in love with a certain silver-haired Russian skater, who had sparkly eyes and sung enchanting lullabies in Yuuri's darkest moments. His voice was beautiful and flowed like fine silk, and further made the two men fall in love. (lullaby lyrics / victuuri)


**Pairing:** **Viktor x Yuuri**

 **Disclaimer:** **I don't own Yuri! On Ice or the characters, only the plot. The poem is called Cossack Lullaby by Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov which was released in the 1800's and is in the public domain/ expired copyright so there shouldn't be any copyright issues (I made sure it was in the public domain before I used it).**

The clock on the bedside table read 3:56am. Both Viktor and Yuuri were peacefully asleep, the Russian with his arm draped over his fiancé, the Japanese man comfortably snuggled up against the others' warm chest. An atmosphere of content and satisfaction sat in the room like a thick fog. Everything was okay, everything was always okay.

Until the sadly-familiar muffled cries dragged the silver haired skater from the forceful clutches of sleep. He prised his heavy eyelids open, blinking a few times to rid the stinging sensation, listening for the noises again. Maybe he had dreamed them- that had happened a few times. After a few seconds of silence he dared to close his eyes and fall back into his tranquil slumber. The warmth of the bed, the lingering exhaustion of the weary day, the smell of Yuuri's shampoo were all things that continued to tempt him back into the depth of undisturbed unconsciousness.

"Mmm…"

There it was again. Sitting upright this time to banish the feeling of fatigue, Viktor held his breath to limit the noise in the bedroom. Only an isolated car drove by now and then, though most of the sound was absorbed by the thick layer of trees and bushes outside the apartment. Apart from that, it was silent, the room was void of those muffled cries that he _swore_ he heard…

Yuuri stirred from his position on the bed, bringing one arm up to wrap around his head, clenched the blankets with his left fist. If any light dared to glimmer through the curtains Viktor would see a slight sheen of sweat covering the forehead of the vulnerable person before him. If he put his head close to Yuuri's chest Viktor would be able to hear the steady-increasing heartbeat that was a tell-tale indicator that something was wrong. But there was no light and the slightest movement would cause the smaller man to wake up, so Viktor didn't see these signs, and was about to lay back down when-

"S-stop…" Undeniable this time, the delicate sobs were definitely coming from his lover, and Viktor instantly knew what was up. This happened frequently, unfortunately, especially when Yuuri was stressed from a competition or home life or work. His anxiety-induced nightmares broke the Russian's heart. He couldn't do anything about it, he couldn't make them stop.

But he did know how he could help.

"Yuuri? Yuuri, love, wake up." He gently shook the others' shoulder and ran a hand through the thick black hair. Now he could feel the hot sweat that was sure to be uncomfortable. Being a light sleeper was an advantage in times like this, and the Japanese quickly woke up, breath hitched in his throat and releasing small whimpers. Viktor smiled and whispered soft comforts.

"I… I'm s-sorry." Yuuri whispered, voice laced with guilt. He always felt awful whenever he woke Viktor up, even though he couldn't deny he appreciated the attention during these situations. The bad dreams had been a recurring theme throughout his childhood. Recently they had started getting worse, and though he knew he wasn't a burden, he still felt that weight of shame and fear of being annoying.

 _"Why can't I be normal?"_

 _"Normal isn't interesting to me, my little pork cutlet bowl. You know I love you just the way you are."_

Repeating Viktor's words in his head, Yuuri tried to calm down; this was a technique that helped him relax most of the time. But sometimes it wasn't as effective, and sometimes he required something else. Something he treasured and appreciated more than words on paper could ever hope to convey.

"Viktor… can you…?"

"Of course baby. Of course."

Closing his eyes wasn't as difficult now. The blur of the night vanished and was replaced with the darkness of his eyelids. He awaited Viktor's soothing voice to lull him into sleep.

 _"Sleep, my darling, sleep, my baby,_

 _Close your eyes and sleep._

 _Darkness comes; into your cradle_

 _Moonbeams shyly peep…."_

Deep tones never failed to strip the breath from Yuuri's lungs. As well as striking blue eyes and magical silver hair, his lover had the voice of lavender soap and pink perfume bottles and the 5am Japanese sunrise. Sakura blossoms and gold trimmings lined every note and word. Uncreased feathers and pieces of jasper sunk into the harmonies, leaving the smaller man feeling a strange mixture of tired and alive.

It was an old Russian ballad. Occasionally Viktor would sing in the native language of the song, which Yuuri thought was ten times more beautiful, despite not being able to fully understand the lyrics. It didn't matter, he knew the English version by heart, so he assumed it had a similar meaning.

The story followed a mother and a baby who were desperately trying to avoid the hardships of life, trying to avoid war and destruction and merciless brutality that the son would one day have to face up to. And he does; he grows to be a proud soldier who brandishes a proud dagger and rides away to fight in the proud Russian army. _"A great war, one which is often overlooked in history, but holds many traditions and inspired precious pieces of art."_ Viktor had explained one day. Overcome with the grief of her son going into such a dangerous situation, the mother struggles to cope, seemingly longing for her child to be but a little boy once again. Perhaps she died, maybe she didn't. Either way it was a heart-breaking tragedy which was masked underneath the soothing chimes and tunes.

At 4 in the morning the meaning of the lullaby was pushed aside. Yuuri just wanted to bathe in his lovers voice, let his words brush over his delicate skin and soothe him.

" _Muddy waters churn in anger,_

 _Loud the Terek roars,_

 _And a Chechen with a dagger_

 _Creeps onto the shore."_

Little children may be taken aback by the threatening lyrics. Innocent boys and girls may ask their mothers to sing something happier and brighter. Yuuri Katsuki wanted this lullaby and this lullaby only. It was like a drug to him, but a harmless and pleasing drug that put his heart at rest. It was sang with an enchantment and passion that no-one but Viktor could achieve.

 _"I will see you to the turning,_

 _And you'll ride away._

 _With my icon you will journey_

 _And before it pray..."_

As the end was drawing near, Viktor smiled lightly, pleased by the sight that Yuuri's eyes had finally flickering shut. He looked so beautiful when he was asleep. Innocent and carefree, as soft as a lilac rose petal and just as delicate. His Yuuri, the one he loved. Panic attacks, nervous outbursts, stuttering speech, the lot- he adored every inch of that boy. Yuuri loved him back just as much.

 _"Let your thoughts in time of danger_

 _To your mother fly._

 _Close your eyes and sleep, my angel,_

 _Sleep, dear, rock-a-bye."_

Moonlight shone through a small gap in the curtains and landed on Viktor's golden ring. The song drew to a close and Yuuri was sleeping again. Carefully, so as not to wake him, the Russian slid back into his previous lying position and the two of them resumed their cuddling.

The two rings shone in harmony, like a mother and her son.

 **Please rate and review if you enjoyed this :)**

 **I really recommend reading the entirety of this poem, since I only included about 1/5th in this fic due to it being long. There's a Russian version on youtube sung by Natalia Faustova and it's honestly so beautiful. The English translation is also interesting.**

 **Thank you for reading :3**


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